Tame your Anger with 4 A s’

Although the common roots of anger are fear, pain, frustration or feeling of uncertainty, in most cases, one of the major causes of anger is helplessness. When a situation is unacceptable, unbearable or lies outside our circle of influence, we feel helpless. This feeling of  helplessness  results in anger. Anger manifests in various forms depending on the fundamental temperament of the people.

Generally, short-tempered people struggle to suppress their feelings. So, they resort to screaming, criticizing or openly revealing their feelings. They want their anger to be attended to or acknowledged by others. They experience a sense of relief after the release, but many a times, they repent and regret that moment later.

If a person has the ability to reason out things, the anger would lose its value with a few minutes of introspection and help the person return to normalcy.

The state of a person who always suppresses his feelings without perspective or acceptance of the situation can be compared to the pressure cooker waiting to burst in an unbecoming way, at an inappropriate time. Sometimes, the anger might take a turn and make someone unconnected its prey.

Some of them exhibit it in the form of tears and wash away their anger.

Few others break things, stomp their feet, thump the table or harm themselves or others physically and cause irreversible damage.

Avoiding the situation that causes anger is ideal, but may not be always possible. If it cannot be avoided, then, we can try to influence and alter the situation and make it acceptable. If Avoiding and Altering are not possible, then Analyze. Analyzing the situation would provide fresh inputs to our brain and mind to process and offer us ideas to resolve the issues or at least Accept it. Accepting the situations which lie outside the circle of our influence will lead to peaceful mind.

So, Avoid, else try and Alter. If not possible, Analyze and Alter. Otherwise, Accept. This will help us bring a closure to many problems.